WHAT IF... Apparently Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner didn't know about the Wall Street Guru ball... If he'd spent $7.99 for it at OfficePlayground.com- well, who knows?

GET SHRUNK Can't afford therapy anymore? The Dr. Freud Therapy Ball will see you for only $7.69. From TwistedGrins.com.

BUT I... Tired of everyone else's excuses for the pickle we're in? Give them some of their own medicine with the Instant Excuse Ball. The $4.69 price from Amazon.com provides no excuse not to buy it.

SUPER SNARK Perhaps you've detected a note of sarcasm in our words? Join us with a few crisp comebacks provided by the Sarcasm Ball. $7.95 from Archie McPhee.

WILL MY CHOLESTEROL COUNT GO DOWN? Ask the Over the Hill Fortune Telling Ball from Backyard Carnival Supply. The ball is $9.99, but a scrip for Lipitor is priceless.

PERPETUAL GOOD FORTUNE When Wall St., therapy, excuses, and sarcasm all fail, keep your spirits up with the eternally positive message of this Magic 8 Ball Scrabble Tile Pendant. $6 from MegHopper at Etsy.com.